Show of Hands

Back to the wedding for a moment – I’ve noticed when the serious part of a wedding ceremony begins after the bride comes down the aisle and her boka is transferred to her maid of honor or attendant, most ministers will first tell the bride and groom to join hands. I love that, the image of unity and intimacy that creates before the witnesses of it…my favorite wedding photos are almost always those that show the couples’ hands with their rings or holding the knife feigning slicing their wedding cake.

It’s been 3 days now that Darlin’s been gone after one of the longer periods of time we have gotten to spend together day in and day out and while I miss his laugh, his smile, cooking and eating together, lying next to him sleeping – what I miss most are his hands.

When I first met my Darlin’ face to face after months of online chat, email and phone calls he took my hand and held it tight as if I were a figure composed of helium balloons that had to be securely held onto or I might float away. Then and consistently ever since, when he holds my hand he’ll knead them in the most amazing massaging way, soothing and thrilling at one and the same time. I’ve often felt with him that holding hands is better/sweeter than any other physical form of intimacy. In fact, I was quite touched recently when my younger daughter shared her observations of other couples and expressed disappointment that though they professed to love one another they didn’t hold each other’s hands when they’d drive or walk together or sit side by side watching TV as Darlin’ and I always do. When she has a boyfriend, she told me, he’d BETTER hold my hand! (smiles)

A couple of years ago a favorite magazine, Mary Jane’s Journal, had a hands theme issue with some of the most beautiful photography of hands – firemen’s hands, farmers hands, mother’s and babies’ hands, children’s hands. What a treasured edition! Last year, the last time I saw my dear friend Cyndi, she gave me a piece of her artwork – a pencil sketch of a quilter’s hand stitching. What an absolute treasure! Since her death in October I’ve thought a number of times of offering it back to her family in case they’d wish to keep as much of her artwork together as possible but I can’t part with it.

In one of Michelangelo’s most astounding and famous works of art, incredible as it all is in every detail all of it could be eliminated but the point where the hands of God and man stretch out to touch and still, it would be a Masterpiece.

Doesn’t it make you smile every single time you see a photo in the stale pose of a newborn in the palm of a father’s hand?

And it’s amazing to me to witness the communication of anyone in American Sign Language…to think that even those without voice or the capacity to hear can still communicate with their hands. A favorite joke:
A tour bus driver brings his deaf tour into a bar and grill for their evening meal after a long day driving. The bus driver interprets orders for the bartender while some are gathered at the bar as others are seated for dinner, which the bartender appreciates and gives the bus driver a drink on the house. As everyone has been served the bartender comes to lean awhile and chat with the bus driver and as they chat the bartender curiously asks the driver to help him eavesdrop, so to speak, on some of the conversations of his clientele. After a time, suddenly, all the hands of the folk gathered ‘round the bar start flying rapidly and the bartender is royally confused. “What’s goin’ on?”, he asks the driver. The driver groans and replies, “We’re gonna be here a while – they’ve started singing.”

One of my favorite movie stars/celebrities is known for her voice above all else, Barbra Streisand, but I remember one of my favorite of her movies, A Star is Born, it was her beautiful hands that left the greatest impression on me. I couldn’t take my eyes off her lovely hands!

My favorite hands of all are those of the shampoo-person at any salon and last year I came to appreciate the hands of manicurists. Ahhhhhhh! What luxury! I’m sure I could be made a willing slave for a masseuse.

We can do so much good with our hands – pet an animal, gentle a horse, stroke the trembling back of a sobbing friend, wipe away a child’s tears, feed our selves and others, mend a garment, sow seeds of flowers and vegetables – the possible list is endless. And the value of anything handmade is always immeasurably greater than manufactured. You can read and study and learn about a thing/things but the real knowing comes from hands-on experience.

Today I am especially grateful for hands – mine, though not as strong as they used to be and those that touch me through strokes on a keyboard. I don’t know if this medium will allow it in comments but if you can give me a link, won’t you please show me your hands?

Sunday Scribblings: For Richer Or Poorer

First Sunday of 2009 and I realize if I don’t post for Sunday Scribblings I’m missing the opportunity of perfect discipline for the entire year and therefore sabotaging my intentions at the outset…this week’s Sunday Scribblings prompt is: ‘For Richer or Poorer’ which automatically brings to mind wedding vows and it’s no small irony that I actually attended a wedding for the first time in YEARS on New Year’s Eve. I know the groom, Jonathon, well but hardly know the bride, Jessica, at all outside of her having become the love of Jonathon’s life.

As we watched the two exchange their vows and rings and devoted looks into one another’s starry eyes I couldn’t help but think how little we know when we stand before God and a congregation of friends and family exchanging those vows. I remember well those vows being a ‘passage’ into a life where two shall become one and having little concept of the duality of the realities of life they represent. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health…you stand there unless you’re already facing a handicap or life altering illness in all optimism believing it will ALL be better, richer, in health. How could it not? But then, life is tough & throws you curve balls so it’s good to recall when it’s not what you expected on the wedding day that you promised your love and devotion and fidelity despite whatever reversals of fortune and expectations may come to pass.

I’ve never been wealthy but have often considered myself rich. I have little desire for trappings of wealth and believe people are ALWAYS more important than things. As long as I have people in my life who share past, present and future I’ll remain rich in the ways that matter most and I know this because just trying to imagine being wealthy but lonely is beyond comprehension that anyone would choose such a life.

My Perspective on Creativity

Before we get started as a group in the book, ‘The 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women’ and begin to pursue the thought/blog process prompts from Jamie I thought I’d just share what I believe about creativity coming in.

I’ve been a quilter for many years and for a period of time in order to be near the essential elements of the art/craft, mainly fabric and thread, I worked part time in a fabric store. It used to frustrate me immensely to wait on customers who would come in with a book/pattern for a quilt and insist and precisely duplicating every single fabric in the illustration. I couldn’t imagine myself devoting all the time and effort to a project destined to be merely a replica of someone else’s choices and vision. I thought THEY lacked any creativity and imagination.

Not long after my present view of creativity began to develop when our local church became involved in a ministry to women exiting prison as a sort of half-way house and asked for volunteers and program ideas. Many skilled people volunteered resume writing skills, financial management, dress for success advice, etc., etc.

About that time I had read an article on art therapy and offered it to the program director as an idea for something that might be useful if they could find someone of that persuasion willing to donate time. The response was "What day/evening are you available?" HA! I had to laugh – one article certainly didn’t qualify me as any sort of expert but instead of refusing my thought was I could begin something, claim a time slot, and maybe someone more knowledgeable would quickly step up. As I prepared to begin I thought long and hard about why former addicts, prostitutes, etc. would accept arts and crafts, so to speak, as beneficial to them in any way. The premise of the entire program was the intent to help these women grow into the women God intended them to be. I very quickly latched on to the concept that I believe each of us to be a unique individual created by God and to believe in/accept a creator the Bible states in Genesis He created us in His own image and the very first, most primary thing we know of Him is He created. Therefor, it MUST follow that creativity is a basic, primary, even essential component of what we as human beings are.

Creativity can be expressed in any form – music, writing, art, the construction from wood or metal of any number of objects, the approach to child rearing or serving in whatever occupation compensates us, but we MUST flow in some creative way.

Embracing the 'newness'

Ahhhhhhhh...a new blog! Just like that first, fresh, virgin page of a blank new journal while the paper's still crisp and if you close your eyes you might even catch the scent through the bleach of whatever tree's pulp was pressed and processed to make it. I remember in grade school thinking the smell of fresh paper was kind of intoxicating until I realized it was the mimeograph inks my teachers 'printed' it with. Nothing in contemporary life comes close to the memory of that scent - it was probably not only eclipsed by photocopy machines in modern technology but I would bet somehow it was considered a toxic material to be banned forever. What a shame.

I came here to join in a process, a growth experience in creativity, with other participants and I'm excited about it. It's a step toward developing as a writer and artist meant to give hobbies and interests I've long felt passionately about more solid respect and worth in my own estimation and those around me. I've always resented that family members and friends seem to discount time spent on those pursuits as merely recreation and therefor open to being interrupted and even expecting me to totally push them aside to meet their needs and demands on my time & energy and yet I've let them do it. It's much easier to 'take a stand' now that I'm mostly alone and without much in the way of demands on my time and energy but I'm hoping easier doesn't mean less worthwhile or meaningful. That would be hugely disappointing. It's taken a long time to get here - to this freedom and room to spread my wings.