Thursday, July 9, 2009

WTJ - Week 6

Ebb and flow...maybe I ought to find a pic to insert of waves flowing onto and receding from the sand as an expression of my journal mood for this post. I didn't make a post for Week 5 - not that there was NOTHING done in my journal that week but it was pretty neglected to be honest. I have excuses - expected my Sweetie home for the July 4th weekend and was focussed on preparing for his homecoming and then when I was even later preparing a post for Week 5 than I had been for Week 4, it just seemed logical that rather than appearing late it would be better to just skip it and combine Week 5 and Week 6 and look on top of it for this week. (chuckle) Amusing isn't it that even with all this exercise in releasing perfectionism, I'd still be concerned with manipulating the 'appearance' of control?

After the week of mostly neglected wrecking workouts, and the coming and going of my Sweetie, I found myself (and I JUST realized today the state I'm in) hungrily desiring INTIMACY. And I'm ravenous - like I'd come off a 2 week severely restricted diet starving for a piece of cheesecake, a loaded baked potato and a medium rare 12 oz. ribeye or a roasted turkey with all the trimmings. I've bounced around through the pages of my journal - starting and stopping on this page and then another, and another, and another - not finding satisfaction. Part of it is I know, having signed up and received a favorite page swap partner (waves hello below the table to Kirby3131) I'm going to be sending a page away...a favorite...and a part of me is feeling a strong kick of inadequacy (What if she thinks my 'favorite' is pretty lame? I really, REALLY like my current favorite but it's no work of 'art' by any means...and I probably could come up with something better if I try. But then, if I'm really trying and I DO do something fabulous I really LOVE and am proud of - could I give it to a stranger????)

Soooooo...I have a number of pages 'in progress' but my dialogue with myself the last couple days as I've bounced about and explored some options in expression has me convinced I can't turn back or stand still. I'm evidently either at a dead end (which I can't fathom or accept - I'm too restless and needy/wanting) - a T-intersection, a cross road, up the ladder to the high dive or even poised at the open cabin door of a plane with a chute on my back...

Soooooooo - this was my AHA! (smacks self on forehead "But, OF COURSE!") what my sign says page...

And here, just to prove I've been doing something ;), are a couple other pages for variety...
Coloring outside the lines:

And Doodling:


  1. haha..oh how I can relate exactly to this post! I think you did great ...considering all the nice distractions it sounds like you may have had! I too was not going to even post anything this week but combine to next week...cause I also did not do much in my journal. BUT then decided what the heck. I have one thing I at least did to I posted about that.

    I am craving intimacy too.....I have now for years :(

  2. I totally know what your talking about when it comes to manipulating the appearance of control. LOL What a line. What a great bit of insight, too!!

    I can honestly tell you that I will truly enjoy whatever page you send, because it is your favorite! but I have to tell you -- I thought the same thing about sending mine to you. "will she like it? I'm not an artist, she'll think it's lame." and other assorted stuff like that.

    No U Turns!!

    Kristin - The Goat

  3. Love love love the sign. Very wise. (I love how we're getting all this wisdom along with the fun in this journal!)

  4. Funny, I almost didn't post this week either. I'm glad you did because I love your honesty and can relate to your feelings. BTW, I think you look great with a chute on your back - get ready to JUMP :)

  5. I think every journal is a journey and every journey is different, sometimes a u-turn is very good.
    When you walk in circles, you see many things, you haven't seen by the first glimpse!
    So just follow your own flow and you can't go wrong.

    Thanks for your comment, I had to laugh, wonderful!!!

  6. I love your "Colour Outside the Lines" page! Gorgeous. :)

  7. Love it!! i love aha moments!

  8. Thank you for a glimpse into your thinking...which sounds almost exactly like my thinking! LOL! I so get this--and I LOVE the "No U Turns"--I feel like I should stamp in on my head!

    Fabulous wrecking!

  9. Awesome creativity. Happy wrecking. See ya next week.

  10. Your picture of the U-turn made me think of Julia Cameron's book the Artist's Way. In about chapter 8 she cautions people about making creative U turns -- just when things get interesting we tend to chicken out for whatever reason. Kinda interesting concept. :) WRECK ON!!!!!!

  11. What a great wrecking breakthrough and awesome realizations! :)

  12. Nice twist on your sign page. :) Great wrecking!

  13. You know, somehow when I read "I'm not a doodler" I actually saw "I'm a noodler" LOL!

    So, no U-turns for you. Powerful aha! And yay you for the bravery it takes to share your favourite page. It is courageous to offer our gifts to the world and to Kirby3131 :)